Get Out of Your Own Way: Beat Your Mental Monkeys with Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Ever stopped yourself from doing something because you thought you couldn’t do it? Or maybe you thought that you wouldn’t be good at it? We all have mental monkeys that keep us from pursuing our dreams. It's too easy to give in to negativity and let these monkeys get the better of us. But there are methods to break out of that mindset. They’re easier than you might think!
In this episode, James R. Elliot gives expert tips on becoming a world-class influencer who lives with purpose. He shares how neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) can manage unhelpful thought patterns. We find out how NLP can help entrepreneurs, leaders, mentors and other coaches eliminate their negative mindsets. James also teaches us the importance of taking action and giving value.
Listen to the full episode to learn how to get out of your own way and make a big impact!
Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
- Gain valuable insights from James and his journey to coaching and mentorship.
- Learn how you can use neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) to interrupt your disempowering mindset.
- Discover more tips and strategies from James on how he battles his disempowering voices.
WATCH NOW (and check out the Resources and Episode Highlights below):
- Download the workbook and jot down relevant notes as you listen to/watch the show
- The Influence Alliance — A business-building community for changemakers who want to build a sustainable and scalable business they love.
- The Influence Alliance Free Podcast Series
- Check out Annemarie’s LinkedIn post on starting a podcast!
- Connect with James: Website | Youtube | Instagram | Email
- Try out the SAVERS routine by Hal Elrod.
[02:29] James’ Journey Towards Coaching
- James became interested in coaching when he started having a coach for himself.
- He then took advanced courses and certifications on neuro-linguistic programming and other coaching techniques.
- During this time, James felt as if he didn’t have a purpose in his corporate job. He later got laid off.
- James used his layoff package to start his coaching business.
- His job is to believe in others until they believe in themselves.
[05:59] Strategies That Enable You to Live with Purpose
- Apart from managing our fears, taking action is vital.
- While you're taking action, you might feel a little worried. The important thing is that the big fear goes away.
- When you have faced your fears, you will realise that it wasn’t so bad after all.
- James loves tools such as neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and timeline therapy for changing how your brain thinks.
- Unless people have trained to do otherwise, most of the thoughts people have are negative.
[10:11] Proving Your Fears Wrong
- We all experience imposter syndrome because we’re human.
- People are too afraid of feeling and looking bad.
- You need to stop worrying about what other people will think.
[13:33] Using Neuro-Linguistic Programming to Disempower Your Mental Monkeys
- Use neuro-linguistic programming to create pattern interrupts.
- Tell your disempowering voices to shut up. You can have fun with this process!
- For example, George is the name of Jame’s monkey. Every time George brings in negative thoughts, James tells him to shut up.
- Whatever you do in life, find meaning and purpose in it. By helping others, you can heal yourself.
- Be authoritative! Gain authority over your disempowering voice by saying, ‘Stop it!’
[18:22] Creating New Habits
- Neuro-linguistic programming is straightforward, but it works.
- These habits become an automatic pattern in your brain.
- It’s also a powerful form of feedback to know how you can make yourself better.
- There can also be misconceptions about success and money because of our fears.
[19:35] Keys to Being Highly Influential and Persuasive
- Neuro-linguistic programming is a form of conversational hypnosis for business people.
- To be influential and persuasive, you need to know how to communicate effectively.
- People know when you pretend to be present and when you are not listening.
- If you’re communicating with someone, be 100% present.
[23:06] Retraining Your Attentive Behavior
- To train yourself not to be distracted, visualise all the things you want in your life first thing in the morning.
- You can also meditate or journal. James also recommends the SAVERS morning routine.
- Remember, don’t check your phone first thing as this programs your brain for distractions.
- Next, focus on someone. If you are not focusing on someone when you’re communicating with them, they won’t buy from you or hire you.
- Realise that the person in front of you is important. How can you make their time worthwhile by helping them?
[25:51] You Don’t Have to Be Perfect
- You only have to be a couple of steps ahead of someone.
- Business leaders, coaches, mentors and speakers aren’t perfect.
- But they take action and don’t let anything get in their way.
[26:50] More Tips on Becoming Influential
- If you want to be influential, start giving value.
- Think about how you can give your audience your best.
- Even if you don’t think they’ll ever buy from you, find ways to give them value.
- If you do this successfully, the people you reach out to will always respond positively to you because they know that what you share is valuable.
- This is going to give you the social proof to be more influential.
[31:28] How James Became a Good Speaker
- James wasn’t always a good speaker.
- But he took action.
- James advises people to stop worrying about what people think about them.
- If you have haters, it means that you’re taking action and sharing your message.
10 Powerful Quotes
[04:25] ‘The only one that can get in our own way is us. We can allow others to get in our way but it's still up to us, it's still our decision.’
[07:29] ‘The biggest thing is you have to take action in life. To get something, you do have to take that action and finally face those fears.’
[11:24] ‘We all have this imposter syndrome. And you really got to, I guess, embrace it, but at the same time, ignore it, right? “Okay. It's there. I get it.” It means you're normal; it means you're human.’
[12:16] ‘We're afraid of looking bad. And my point is, you got to, you really got to let that go. And you really got to stop worrying what people think about you.’
[14:12] ‘You hear a voice that’s disempowering, tell them to shut up. Literally, tell them to shut up. And you don't want to tell your whole brain to shut up. But it's that voice you're telling to shut up.’
[15:05] ‘Whatever you do, however you do it, find meaning. Find meaning in all the crap that happened to you and all your struggles in life. Find meaning in that by helping people.’
[18:07] ‘If you're creating a new habit, it's like creating a new river, you know, massive strain. Starts off a trickle, and the more you feed that new habit, and the more you say, ‘Stop,’ and eventually, you’re just going to do that automatically.’
[20:34] ‘Highly effective communication, highly effective actually listening to people are huge for influence.’
[25:56] ‘You only have to be a couple steps ahead of someone. You don't have to be an expert. And remember, even experts aren't perfect. Experts aren't infallible.’
[29:35] ‘Aim to give tons of value to people. Way more, even if they're paying, you give them way more value they're paying for. And if they're not paying you yet, just give them so much value and find ways to give value that doesn't take a ton of your time.’
James R. Elliot is the founder, leadership trainer and neuro-linguistic programming trainer at Unleash Your Power. He also works as a confidence & communication trainer and a professional speaker in this organisation. Unleash Your Power aims to provide leadership training for business leaders, entrepreneurs, mentors and other coaches. Since 2013, James has offered neuro-linguistic programming training and other tools to help individuals break their barriers.
In his early years, James worked in Creatrix Transformational Solutions, where he became a board-certified master coach, NLP trainer and hypnotherapist. From 2013 to 2018, he also became a member of the American Board of NLP Coaching.
If you want to learn more about the work James does, head on over to his website. You can also check out his Youtube and Instagram. If you wish to contact him directly, you can send him an email at email@example.com.
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Remember, the only one that can get in your way is you. You can find success in life and give value to others. But first, you need to stand up and take action. James shares his expert strategies so you can become a world-class influencer and make a big impact.
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