How to Move from Regret to Resilience
So many of us are living with regret because we keep coming back to our past mistakes. But regret is unhealthy. It causes and increases your stress which has been proven to make you more susceptible to inflammatory diseases. And no one really wants to sit in that area of regret. It's important that we know to overcome it so we can move forward with our lives and grow.
One of the greatest ways to move out of regret is by building resilience. We can always choose to live life with resilience and not regret. Whenever we catch ourselves beating ourselves up about our past mistakes, we can try to redirect our thinking. Thinking about our past mistakes can only make us unhappy and unhealthy. Just remember that these regrets are part of our life experiences. If you help in getting out of those emotions that are stuck perhaps, remember that help is always available.
Resilience is a skill that we all can learn. On today's show, we're going to talk about how we can build resilience. Learn what are its four major areas and how they are all integrated into our whole being. Work through your regrets and mistakes, learn from them, and then bounce back, because we all have to keep going.
Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
- Learn how you can move from regret to resilience
- Find out what the four major areas in building resilience are and how they are interrelated
- Understand the importance of M*S*G – Mindset, Skillset, Get Off Your Asset and what it means
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[2:18] Sallie's Journey
- Sallies started out as a Physics major and ended up in Theology. She went to law school and spent decades as a lawyer in the corporate world.
- She decided she wanted to be a life coach and help other people overcome life's challenges. Sallie was already coaching people with Emotional Freedom Techniques and used it as an opportunity.
[4:16] Moving from Regret to Resilience and its Four Areas
- If you are going to get focused on your past mistakes, you're gonna get stuck. And regret is going to continue to pull you back until you learn to shift your focus to look forward.
- A common misconception about resilience is you either have it or you don't. It's important to remember that resilience is a skill that we can all learn and develop over time. There are four major areas of resilience – physical, emotional, mental and social.
- Physical resilience is our physical stamina and the ability to withstand physical stress and heal our bodies.
- Emotional resilience is the ability to tap into positive emotions so we're not simply reacting to life events but actually consciously choosing how to respond to those events.
- Mental resilience is our ability to think rationally, weigh options, formulate plans, and come up with systems, structures, and goals for our lives.
- Social resilience is our ability to connect with others socially – chatting with friends, family, and neighbors, and also becoming involved in our community to give back to a greater purpose beyond ourselves.
[7:53] How the Four Areas Impact Each Other
- All the four areas – physical, emotional, mental, and social are interrelated. These four areas are all integrated into our whole being so that we achieve an overall sense of resilience and wellbeing. We can't separate them from each other.
- For example, focusing on physical fitness and nutrition can help improve our mental capabilities. And we can feel a certain emotion and it's going to affect how we act and interact with others socially.
- It's important that you know if there's a weak link or struggle among these four areas. If there is, be mindful and work on improving that area.
[10:32] The Importance of M*S*G
- M in MSG is for mindset. What we think, we feel. Our thoughts impact our feelings and our feelings can then impact our actions, and our actions determine our results. Choose to access the positive emotions rather than being ruled by emotions that come and go at will. Consciously choose to set your environment through positive emotions, like joy, happiness, love, and compassion as that is going to impact everything.
- S in MSG is a skillset. We're not taught to have a positive mindset so we need skills to get the mindset that we would like to get the results that we want.
- G is get off your assets which means we have to take action to make anything happen in life.
[15:00] Mindset Shifts That We Need to Be Aware Of
- You may not be able to control what's happening to you or what others may be saying about you, but you can control how it impacts you. Understand that we all have a different perspective. By broadening your own perspective you can change your mindset and see more possibilities so that it is not so limited and narrow.
- Start to recognize some of the triggers or some things that you are doing that you can then change. Reframe and have a positive mindset. If you can change the story, then you can change your outcome.
- Be mindful of what you are thinking, and think positively. Do not create barriers in your own mind because whatever you tell yourself will impact the results that you will get. If you say you can't, you really won't. But if you say you can, you will.
[25:15] What is Emotional Freedom Techniques or EFT
- Emotional Freedom Techniques is a form of energy psychology. It's one of those modalities where the goal is to make true positive change from the inside out.
- Unaddressed emotional issues and putting yourself under immense pressure or stress can manifest into illness, death, or disease. EFT is one way that you can release these things from your body as it helps get to those emotions that are perhaps stuck.
- Address the little significant events so they don't accumulate and have a serious long-term impact on your mental and physical well-being.
10 Powerful Quotes
[3:41] “In that scenic route that you took to get to where you are today, there is such richness, isn't there? And a wealth of knowledge and experience that comes from hands-on work.”
[4:30] “So many of us are living with regret because your view is focused on the rearview mirror. You're not looking forward anymore because of trauma and loss and all kinds of things that we experience in life. And yet until we can shift that focus to look forward, we're gonna be pulled backward by regret. And one of the greatest ways to move out of regret is by building resilience.”
[9:13] “We've all heard the saying ‘You're only as strong as your weakest link.' So if there's one area that may be out of those four areas, again, physical, emotional, mental, and social, that perhaps is the weakest link, we may be strong in the other three areas, but the fourth area. If we can bring that up to being more resilient in that area, that's gonna impact all of them.”
[10:39] “Mindset is so important because it has to do with those stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves. And the key is it's not what you don't know that holds you back, it's what you do know that's not true that holds you back.”
[12:26] ” We're typically not taught to have a positive mindset and so sometimes we need skills to get that mindset that we would like.”
[16:08] “We don't have to have a clear awareness of everything, but sometimes understanding and seeing, getting a little bit of that self-awareness around some of the tendencies that we may have, is where we can then start to focus on.”
[16:33] “The ability to reframe is key because when we reframe, we are telling a different story, and so we're changing – we're interrupting that pattern of telling ourselves a story. And then we have feelings about the story and then act in a certain way and we get results that we may not like and then those results are going to reinforce that story. If we can change the story, then we can change the outcome.”
[17:33] “It's important to remember we're not deceiving ourselves or diluting ourselves. We're not lying about our circumstances. We are just consciously choosing to tell a different story that is equally true.”
[19:48] “So you wanna have those big, scary goals and you wanna have a system and structure in place that is gonna have daily activities that move you in the direction of that big, scary goal. It's the daily grind. That's gonna get you there.”
[27:24] “What happens is if you've got an unaddressed emotional thing that you are carrying around with you, it can manifest itself into illness, death, disease. It's been proven that if you continue to, you know, put yourself under immense pressure, unforgiveness can turn itself into an illness. And so EFT is one way that you can actually release that from the body.”
Sallie is a #1 international best-selling author, speaker, and Life Alchemist! Her powerful transformation tools include Emotional Freedom Techniques and Neurolinguistic Programming so clients into action for rapid, concrete results. Clients reclaim conscious choice in their lives and discover and live the life that makes them come alive!
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